


first

by imposterhuman



Series: school spirit, DEH style [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Not a lot of dialogue, Pining, The Orchard, confident evan, fluffy af, this is a mess oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-20 17:54:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11340450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: From Evan and Connor's first meeting to their first kiss.





	first

They met in the worst possible way. 

Connor had shoved Evan to the ground during one of his episodes, thinking the shorter boy had been laughing at him. Then, in true Connor fashion, he had run away without a word. Later, he tried to apologize, and  _ that  _ backfired too, because Connor couldn’t control his emotions. 

But Evan didn’t hate him for that (he should have, but he didn’t). He tried to calm Connor down in his stuttery, sweet way. And it worked. Earlier that day, Connor had resolved to finally take the whole bottle of sleeping pills that he hid in his room. Evan gave him a reason not to. His unwavering kindness was a little flame in the darkness of Connor’s mind, giving him a reason to hold on a little longer.

Later that day, he flushed all of the pills down the toilet and made an appointment with a therapist.

The next day, Connor had resigned himself to being alone again. He just thought Evan being nice to him was a one-off, and that they’d go back to their normal roles of bully and bullied. Connor could not have been more wrong. Evan saw him in the parking lot and walked into the school with him, making awkward, stilted conversation. Evan waved hello in between classes. Evan even sat with Connor at lunch. 

Connor knew that all good things must come to an end, so he figured that with the weekend upon them, Evan would stop being his “friend.” Hell, he didn’t even know if they  _ were  _ friends. Instead, Evan shakily wrote his number on Connor’s hand, with a smiley face at the end for good measure. 

Soon they were texting daily, and Connor loved it. He loved having a friend, someone to talk to, someone who knew what he was going through. He found himself loving little things about Evan Hansen; how he smiled in that hesitant but honest way, how he knew the words to every song and always sang along quietly, how he would idly play with Connor’s hair, how he grabbed Connor’s hand when he got scared. Somewhere along the line, Connor found himself loving Evan Hansen.

This, as an idea, wasn’t that surprising to Connor. He had always known he was gay, so a crush on a boy wasn’t surprising to him. What was surprising was that he was crushing on  _ Evan Hansen _ , his opposite in every way. Where Connor got mad and blew up, Evan stayed quiet and retreated into himself. Where Connor dressed in only dark colors and looked like a teenage delinquent, Evan dressed in blues and looked like every mom’s dream son. Where Connor always smelled like smoke and weed, Evan always smelled like trees and nature. In all, where Connor was bad, Evan was good.

Also, Connor didn’t know if Evan was even gay. While Connor had made several passing comments about his sexual orientation, Evan never did. 

Connor decided that he was royally screwed; he could jeopardize the only friendship he’d ever had by trying to flirt with Evan, or he could repress his feelings and try to be content as friends. 

Connor had also never made a good decision in his life. 

Flirting with Evan was its own set of challenges, namely because the smaller boy just didn’t seem to grasp when someone was flirting with him. For example, Connor went out of his way to compliment Evan, whether it be on his eyes, his hair, or his outfit. Evan would just respond with a cute giggle and a thank you. Connor even took Evan places, just the two of them, but Evan never read into it. 

He was about to give up, try to rid himself of his ever-growing feelings for Evan. But then Evan surprised him again, asking him to come to their orchard right before sunset. Butterflies swirled in Connor’s stomach. Except they were not cutesy butterflies, they were killer butterflies on crack, wreaking havoc on Connor’s system. 

He arrived to the orchard early, memories playing through his head. He remembered the first time he had brought Evan here.

\---

_ “It’s beautiful!” Evan had said.  _

Just like you,  _ Connor wanted to say.  _

_ “Look at all the trees!” _

_ “There are quite a lot of trees,” Connor added awkwardly. _

_ “Con, did you know that apple trees are actually in the rose family?” _

_ “I…” Connor spluttered, hair falling in his face to hide his blush. “I..um.. no I did not.” _

He called me “Con”? So casually, too. Am I reading too far into this?  _ his panicked mind was whirling. _

_ “Come on, Ev, let’s go inside, the gate isn't locked.” Evan’s resulting smile was so bright, Connor thought he might go blind. _

_ When they got inside, Evan immediately began spouting facts about trees, leaving Connor laying on the grass with a bemused smirk.  _

_ “Come sit with me,” he called out to Evan. “I’m all alone on the ground here.” Evan had flopped down, resting his head on Connor’s stomach. Without him even noticing, Connor’s hand had snaked its way into Evan’s short blonde hair.  _

_ “Thank you for bringing me here,” Evan said softly. _

_ “Thank you for coming with me,” Connor replied. Evan just gave him that smile, the one that Connor couldn’t resist. He’d give Evan the world if Evan flashed him that smile. _

This boy is going to be the death of me,  _ Connor mused.  _

\---

Connor had gotten so lost in thought that he didn’t notice Evan’s bike stopping next to his car (Evan didn’t like driving, so either Connor picked him up, he walked, or he biked). 

“You came!” Evan said, sounding more than a little surprised.

“Of course I did, Hansen, don’t sound so surprised,” Connor joked. 

Evan blushed a little and stuttered out, “L-let’s go in-inside.” 

Silently, Connor pushed open the gate and gestured for Evan to go through. He followed, letting the gate  _ clang  _ shut behind them. No one spoke until they reached the base of “their” tree, the one they had claimed on one of their many trips to the orchard. 

“S-s-so, you’re-e, uh, probably wondering w-w-why I brought you h-h-here.” Evan’s stuttering had increased, showing Connor how anxious he was.

“Ev, calm down, breathe. Talk at your own pace,” Connor said gently, trying to soothe him.

“I… I just.. I..” Evan started hyperventilating, and Connor knew that he was about to have an anxiety attack.

“Ev, breathe. Is touch okay?” Evan nodded. Connor sat Evan down and hugged him. “Tell me 5 things you can see,” he whispered in the shaking boy’s ear.

“Um… your h-hair, t-t-the t-trees, t-the sun, m-my shirt-t-t, and um, the g-g-ground.”

“4 things you can hear.”   
“Your v-voice, the w-w-wind, m-my voice, b-b-birds.”

“3 things you can touch.”   
“T-the ground, y-you, m-my shirt.”   
“2 things you can smell.”

“A-apples, you.”

“And one thing you can taste.” Evan took a deep breath at Connor’s words, steeling himself. Then he turned around and kissed Connor full on the mouth. Connor was shocked.

_ Oh my god oh my god oh my god Evan is kissing me oh my god,  _ he thought. His brain was not spitting out helpful advice.

Evan broke away, “You,” he said. “I can taste you.” Connor was staring at Evan in what was probably a not attractive way.

“You.. kissed me?” he said incredulously. “Why? I thought..”

“Thought what?” Evan asked, starting to get a little nervous, wondering if he had been misreading Connor’s actions. “Thought I was straight? Or oblivious to your flirting?”   
Connor laughed nervously. “Both, actually.”   
“Well,” said Evan, with a smile. “I’m neither. So if it’s alright with you, I’d really like to kiss you.”

“And you’re 100% serious about this? You’re not fucking with me?” Connor was still skeptical.

“What will convince you? If I tell you how I’m always thinking about you? Or if I tell you how my heart speeds up every time you touch me? How about if I tell you about how I can’t stop looking at you, thinking about how beautiful you are? How much I want to kiss you? What will convince you?” Evan said, growing more confident with every word.

“I… kiss me?” Connor leaned forward, pressing his lips to Evan’s. It was a short and sweet kiss, Evan breaking away first. He smiled that one smile that drove Connor crazy. 

“This might be a little forward,” Evan started.

“Can’t surprise me any more tonight, Ev,” Connor laughed. 

“Willyoubemyboyfriend?” Evan said in one breath.

“Wait, wait, you have to slow down, I can’t understand you,” Connor’s nose scrunched up in confusion (which Evan thought was unfairly adorable).

Evan took a deep breath. “Will you be my, um, my boyfriend?” He ducked his head to hide his blush.

Connor tilted Evan’s head up towards him and looked him straight in the eyes. “Yes. I will.” Then he kissed Evan again, just as the sun set on the orchard. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked!


End file.
